So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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