Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
should my penis look like a turkey
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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