How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
