so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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