My balls are so social today.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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