the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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