The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
