Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
