Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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