i already hear my dad disowning me
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
there was a trapeze. enough said
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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