i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
