i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
