Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
They have beer where we have blood.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
