I'm lost and stupid without you.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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