lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
