Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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