Need sex. Gaining weight.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
