DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
