Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
