I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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