I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
