end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
