I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize