Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
