oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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