he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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