girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize