this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize