He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
