WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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