I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
