At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize