i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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