it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
