Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
