the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I look better un-naked...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
