Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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