Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
