I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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