sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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