2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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