Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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