Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
