please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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