Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
How's work?
Spinning.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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