she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
