We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
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