We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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