I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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