So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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