I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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