STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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