This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
