We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
