You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
are you so shy because you have an std?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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