Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize