i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just invented taco cereal.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
