So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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