You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Can Purell be used as lube?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
