My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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