Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
