Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
