you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
