That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
