Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just threw up on my dentist
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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