I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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